Sunday, December 4, 2011
Sunday Groceries
today (12/4/11) i'm thankful for: groceries. there is nothing quite like the emotional roller coaster that is grocery shopping...there's the worrying about how much money i'm hopefully going to make on sundays for groceries, which can be stressful seeing as i HATE working sundays and it's written ALL over my face, which can then reflect upon my tips. then there's the going home to change my clothes part, which i must do because i hate walking around in public in my OG garb, but i hate to do because once i'm home i hate to leave again, especially after i've been on my feet for 5 hours. then there's the part where i NEVER bring my debit card into the store, therefore limiting my desire to go crazy and buy everything, but when i'm checking out i'm always afraid i won't have enough cash on me and i hate being the douche that holds everyone else up in line while i make a mad dash to my car to get my card. then i have to load then consequently unload my car and walk all my groceries up to my 3rd floor apartment (i hate this part so much i attempt to strap all the bags onto one arm and do it all in one trip, which can be quite humorous for my neighbors i'm sure. it's especially funny when i get to the second flight of stairs and for some reason the first step is just about an inch higher than all the other steps and i trip on it 97% of the time). then after i put all the groceries away, i have to go back down to my car and park it in the parking lot in order to abide by bangor's winter parking laws).*
all of this, from leaving my apartment to parking my car, takes about an two hours.
but...there is NOTHING like sitting on the couch, with a full fridge, and the next two days off. for as much stress as sundays can, and often are, for me, i love this feeling of being able to provide for myself and two cats more than just about anything. sundays stress me the fuck out, but they also reassure i'm doing okay :) although i do have plans for the next couple days, i could potentially get stuck/choose to stay in my apartment for the next 48 consecutive hours my family wouldn't go hungry...and that is a feeling to be thankful for.
*a second trip may or may not be necessary on any given week if the girls are in need of either food or litter...both of these items require a solo trip down and up my stairs due to their odd packaging or weight (i lugged a 38 lb box of litter up here about a couple weeks ago and that i know would have been hilarious to watch)
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Loyalty
'There's only one thing I value and that's loyalty. Without it you are nothing and have no one.' - Ides of March
Movie night could not have come at a better time. I was long overdue for a night with my best friend. Fall is such a ridiculously busy time for both of us so when we get a night to see each other we jump at the opportunity. Before we went out I told my friend some information I had heard through a reliable source because I thought my friend deserved to know. The information I had to tell him was hurtful and disrespectful and if he had found out similar information, (that someone was telling people something about me that was under no circumstances true). I would sure as hell want to know.
This is where loyalty comes into play. Through all of my ups and downs this past year, this friend has stood by me. I have been distant and he has found me, again and again, reminding me that I am better than my current situation and he, through example, teaches me to cherish each and every day. Although we don't speak daily, (with the exception of social network communication, which to me does not constitute actually conversation), I would drop everything to be there for him in any way I can. He has taught me how to be a great friend and he makes me want to be the best person I can be. The best part about this relationship, is that I know he would do exactly the same thing for me. We are loyal to each other and because we have this unspoken understanding, I will do all I can to protect him.
People have come and gone in my life, especially in the last year, but I know he will always be there. I can rely on our friendship and its numerous rewarding qualities. Without him, and the loyalty of best friends, I would most certainly feel alone. I'm in northern Maine, with my closest family two hours south, and my mom and brother all the way out in Ohio. I need all the friends I can get. When I'm lucky enough to find someone who really cares about other people, and especially about me, I can't help but want to surround myself with them as much as possible.
After a tiring 40-hour work week and a pile of bills to be paid, it can be very easy to feel as if my life will become nothing more than living paycheck to paycheck. At these moments, it is tough not to feel as if I have nothing...that although I ybusted my ass all week, I'm still at square one and although my bills are paid, I still can't afford to get ahead. It's a very discouraging feeling. When I'm feeling like this I like to look through pictures of me and my friends, to remind myself that although my bank account isn't bursting, my heart is. My friends are incredible.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, fuck with my friends. They are extremely important to me and when they hurt, I hurt. When you talk shit about them, hurt them in any way, or are generally rude to the people I care about, that is NOT okay with me. If you choose to act this way, I will lose all respect I may have for you. Talking about someone, spewing facts wherever you deem appropriate, is childish and just plain annoying and is a waste of everyone's time. I am an adult and would prefer to act like one. I don't understand how or why people think it is okay to randomly pick labels out of the sky and paste them onto people they don't know well enough to label. Especially when the person handing out labels is doing so incorrectly with no mind for how things would turn out if they got caught improperly labeling. For the record, there are and should always be consequences for you actions, especially those that hurt others
Although one of my personal mantras is to not get angry at those that hurt or upset me because the time I spend on letting them get to me is time I've lost and will never get back. Haters, you are not worth my time and I have no time for you in my life or the lives of my friends. I realize I may have put my two cents where it doesn't belong in the above situation, but he's my friend and I'm gonna protect him and if that makes me wrong, I don't wanna be right.
Movie night could not have come at a better time. I was long overdue for a night with my best friend. Fall is such a ridiculously busy time for both of us so when we get a night to see each other we jump at the opportunity. Before we went out I told my friend some information I had heard through a reliable source because I thought my friend deserved to know. The information I had to tell him was hurtful and disrespectful and if he had found out similar information, (that someone was telling people something about me that was under no circumstances true). I would sure as hell want to know.
This is where loyalty comes into play. Through all of my ups and downs this past year, this friend has stood by me. I have been distant and he has found me, again and again, reminding me that I am better than my current situation and he, through example, teaches me to cherish each and every day. Although we don't speak daily, (with the exception of social network communication, which to me does not constitute actually conversation), I would drop everything to be there for him in any way I can. He has taught me how to be a great friend and he makes me want to be the best person I can be. The best part about this relationship, is that I know he would do exactly the same thing for me. We are loyal to each other and because we have this unspoken understanding, I will do all I can to protect him.
People have come and gone in my life, especially in the last year, but I know he will always be there. I can rely on our friendship and its numerous rewarding qualities. Without him, and the loyalty of best friends, I would most certainly feel alone. I'm in northern Maine, with my closest family two hours south, and my mom and brother all the way out in Ohio. I need all the friends I can get. When I'm lucky enough to find someone who really cares about other people, and especially about me, I can't help but want to surround myself with them as much as possible.
After a tiring 40-hour work week and a pile of bills to be paid, it can be very easy to feel as if my life will become nothing more than living paycheck to paycheck. At these moments, it is tough not to feel as if I have nothing...that although I ybusted my ass all week, I'm still at square one and although my bills are paid, I still can't afford to get ahead. It's a very discouraging feeling. When I'm feeling like this I like to look through pictures of me and my friends, to remind myself that although my bank account isn't bursting, my heart is. My friends are incredible.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, fuck with my friends. They are extremely important to me and when they hurt, I hurt. When you talk shit about them, hurt them in any way, or are generally rude to the people I care about, that is NOT okay with me. If you choose to act this way, I will lose all respect I may have for you. Talking about someone, spewing facts wherever you deem appropriate, is childish and just plain annoying and is a waste of everyone's time. I am an adult and would prefer to act like one. I don't understand how or why people think it is okay to randomly pick labels out of the sky and paste them onto people they don't know well enough to label. Especially when the person handing out labels is doing so incorrectly with no mind for how things would turn out if they got caught improperly labeling. For the record, there are and should always be consequences for you actions, especially those that hurt others
Although one of my personal mantras is to not get angry at those that hurt or upset me because the time I spend on letting them get to me is time I've lost and will never get back. Haters, you are not worth my time and I have no time for you in my life or the lives of my friends. I realize I may have put my two cents where it doesn't belong in the above situation, but he's my friend and I'm gonna protect him and if that makes me wrong, I don't wanna be right.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Music assures me that I am not crazy, stupid, abnormal, or weird.
Today I'm thankful for the ability to purchase, listen, and appreciate the music that speaks to me. There is simply nothing better than spending a rainy October afternoon jamming to a custom-made playlist entitled 'I'm Worth It' (all while enjoying the company of my two beautiful cats, a fridge full of food I paid for, in an apartment I pay for, in a city full of friends that love me). It's a collaboration of songs meant to reassure me I'm awesome and it works.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
America Songs
I was wrong. It didn't make me cry.
Thanks Josh.
'And Uncle Sam put your name on the top of his list and the Statue of Liberty started shakin' her fist...' - Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue by Toby Keith.
Why do patriotic songs always have the most ridiculous lyrics and can't help but make me giggle under my breath? Does it make me a bad American if I don't want to cruise around town with my windows down crankin' these songs on a day like today? Instead I choose to blog about it in hopes that someone else out there feels the same way.
Thanks Josh.
'And Uncle Sam put your name on the top of his list and the Statue of Liberty started shakin' her fist...' - Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue by Toby Keith.
Why do patriotic songs always have the most ridiculous lyrics and can't help but make me giggle under my breath? Does it make me a bad American if I don't want to cruise around town with my windows down crankin' these songs on a day like today? Instead I choose to blog about it in hopes that someone else out there feels the same way.
Never Forget
On this ten-year anniversary of September 11th, I'm feeling awfully patriotic and I'm avoiding playing 'Proud to be an American' in fear I might actually cry.
Since I'm not working today, I'm spending the day with Josh and Truch at their place watching the kick-off of the NFL season (the current game of interest being the Bengals and Browns game). We just feasted on a mound of nachos. Football, junk food, and incredible electronics that make you feel as if you are experiencing the game live when really you're in sweat pants on your couch...that's what being American is all about right? I would bet you $10 the majority of 20-somethings in Iraq are NOT spending their Sunday in the same fashion as me and my friends.
In the past ten years I've learned a lot about the world, but in regards to international politics and terrorism and what it means to be an American citizen, I've learned to not take freedom for granted. As much as I complain about being behind on bills, having to work seven days a week to get by, or not being exactly where I imagined myself at this point in my life, I'm fucking glad I live in America. I'm glad I have the luxury to really decide what I want to do with my life in order to insure I am happy and doing what I love. Many people in other countries or environments don't have that, and for that, I am grateful.
This is the start of a project that's been looming in my mind for months. Let's see if I can make this work.
Since I'm not working today, I'm spending the day with Josh and Truch at their place watching the kick-off of the NFL season (the current game of interest being the Bengals and Browns game). We just feasted on a mound of nachos. Football, junk food, and incredible electronics that make you feel as if you are experiencing the game live when really you're in sweat pants on your couch...that's what being American is all about right? I would bet you $10 the majority of 20-somethings in Iraq are NOT spending their Sunday in the same fashion as me and my friends.
In the past ten years I've learned a lot about the world, but in regards to international politics and terrorism and what it means to be an American citizen, I've learned to not take freedom for granted. As much as I complain about being behind on bills, having to work seven days a week to get by, or not being exactly where I imagined myself at this point in my life, I'm fucking glad I live in America. I'm glad I have the luxury to really decide what I want to do with my life in order to insure I am happy and doing what I love. Many people in other countries or environments don't have that, and for that, I am grateful.
This is the start of a project that's been looming in my mind for months. Let's see if I can make this work.
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