Loyalty

'There's only one thing I value and that's loyalty. Without it you are nothing and have no one.' - Ides of March

Movie night could not have come at a better time. I was long overdue for a night with my best friend. Fall is such a ridiculously busy time for both of us so when we get a night to see each other we jump at the opportunity. Before we went out I told my friend some information I had heard through a reliable source because I thought my friend deserved to know. The information I had to tell him was hurtful and disrespectful and if he had found out similar information, (that someone was telling people something about me that was under no circumstances true). I would sure as hell want to know.

This is where loyalty comes into play. Through all of my ups and downs this past year, this friend has stood by me. I have been distant and he has found me, again and again, reminding me that I am better than my current situation and he, through example, teaches me to cherish each and every day. Although we don't speak daily, (with the exception of social network communication, which to me does not constitute actually conversation), I would drop everything to be there for him in any way I can. He has taught me how to be a great friend and he makes me want to be the best person I can be. The best part about this relationship, is that I know he would do exactly the same thing for me. We are loyal to each other and because we have this unspoken understanding, I will do all I can to protect him.

People have come and gone in my life, especially in the last year, but I know he will always be there. I can rely on our friendship and its numerous rewarding qualities. Without him, and the loyalty of best friends, I would most certainly feel alone. I'm in northern Maine, with my closest family two hours south, and my mom and brother all the way out in Ohio. I need all the friends I can get. When I'm lucky enough to find someone who really cares about other people, and especially about me, I can't help but want to surround myself with them as much as possible.

After a tiring 40-hour work week and a pile of bills to be paid, it can be very easy to feel as if my life will become nothing more than living paycheck to paycheck. At these moments, it is tough not to feel as if I have nothing...that although I ybusted my ass all week, I'm still at square one and although my bills are paid, I still can't afford to get ahead. It's a very discouraging feeling. When I'm feeling like this I like to look through pictures of me and my friends, to remind myself that although my bank account isn't bursting, my heart is. My friends are incredible.

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, fuck with my friends. They are extremely important to me and when they hurt, I hurt. When you talk shit about them, hurt them in any way, or are generally rude to the people I care about, that is NOT okay with me. If you choose to act this way, I will lose all respect I may have for you. Talking about someone, spewing facts wherever you deem appropriate, is childish and just plain annoying and is a waste of everyone's time. I am an adult and would prefer to act like one. I don't understand how or why people think it is okay to randomly pick labels out of the sky and paste them onto people they don't know well enough to label. Especially when the person handing out labels is doing so incorrectly with no mind for how things would turn out if they got caught improperly labeling. For the record, there are and should always be consequences for you actions, especially those that hurt others

Although one of my personal mantras is to not get angry at those that hurt or upset me because the time I spend on letting them get to me is time I've lost and will never get back. Haters, you are not worth my time and I have no time for you in my life or the lives of my friends. I realize I may have put my two cents where it doesn't belong in the above situation, but he's my friend and I'm gonna protect him and if that makes me wrong, I don't wanna be right.

Music assures me that I am not crazy, stupid, abnormal, or weird. 

Today I'm thankful for the ability to purchase, listen, and appreciate the music that speaks to me. There is simply nothing better than spending a rainy October afternoon jamming to a custom-made playlist entitled 'I'm Worth It' (all while enjoying the company of my two beautiful cats, a fridge full of food I paid for, in an apartment I pay for, in a city full of friends that love me). It's a collaboration of songs meant to reassure me I'm awesome and it works.